Terrorism is the on purpose use of terror meaning violence or threat of violence, coercion and the aim of sowing fear and confusion to billions of people world wide. The word itself still inflicts pain and suffering for the victims and those people who had lost part of their family during terrorist attack. Although seen as everyday culprit for the death of numerous innocent lives, they continually do what they think is right—killing for the sake of their beliefs causing chaos and malice globally.
Its nature started way before 9/11 bombing. Terrorism namely the “beast” has many heads but the two biggest are the Arab-Israeli conflict and the geo-politics involved for the control on the majority of the world's oil. These conflicts resulted to major seriousness that led turmoil all through out the globe.
Terrorist, again, intends to shaken the world by threatening oil companies to minimize the availability of petroleum products thus breaking the law of supply and demand and affecting the community, society and country. Due to the shortage of oil production, it affects our country’s economy by increasing the amount of commodities thus causing public drivers to increase the cost of travel for people. Ordinary citizens are now obliged to spend more money on fares or gas and less on unnecessary items. Percentage of the population who can’t buy those items increase, and soon stores go out of business. More men and women become unemployed. More people are laid off, less work, fewer houses, less money circulation and in the end the value of peso decreases.
Some attempted solutions are quite impossible to be done. As I search for possible key to strike the “beast” down, I saw a man’s opinion; he said “Both sides will have no problem shedding blood until the last drop of oil has been sucked out of the ground”. At the first glance, I thought it will soon happen and maybe it might help. But then I realize it creates another problem : What will happen to our transportation? Will countries again battle for majority on oil control? If ever we will find a solution to a certain problem, I know it will lead to another.
by : jiasheen padel
13 comments:
the composition of your sentences are good. your description of the "beasts" is already good. their are few shortcommings about your post.
1. lacks the ATTEMPTED solutions
2. your own solutions and how would you execute it
3. focuses only on oil crisis
4. lacks the "terrorism" part or the attacks that the so-called "beasts" have done
your article said:
"Due to the shortage of oil production, it affects our country’s economy by increasing the amount of commodities thus causing public drivers to increase the cost of travel for people. Ordinary citizens are now obliged to spend more money on fares or gas and less on unnecessary items."
-maybe you can include more effects of terrorism, not just focus on the economic part.
The essay was well made and really
researched very well. The first
paragraph was good because it tells
about what terrorist means and who
the terrorist are. Your senteces were
good the "beasts" really catches the
eye of the reader. Although you
described the problem of the world
about terrorism, you still did not
show much solutions to the problem
and how it will be solved.
Concentrate more on your topic
about terrorism, and also relate
it to the problem we are having
here in the Philippines.
The structure of your essay is good but in your article you define the word terror but you did not tell much solutions to that problem.
i like how you associate terrorist groups with the world's oil. but you didn't indicate the causes why terrorist focuses on oil's crisis.
maybe, knowing the cause of this problem might lead you to a definite solution.
The way you explain the terrorism is precise. And the problem is really a serious problem. Everybody was affected to this oil problem, making others commute rather than using vehicles. Even I was affected to this kind of problem.
I like the your first paragraph because you have introduction. But you do not have your opinion about the solution. You siad Some attempted solutions are quite impossible to be done. I disagree with that. Because we can do fron just simple things like when we pass or entrance the shopping mall, the security guard will check our bag and our body. Because it will not be having a deadly weapons. It can be an one of the solutions.
I think you have lack of informations on the soultion part. For the soultion there is like strict security, creating laws that can prevent terrorism(like deadly weapond should not be carry without goverment agreenment).Terrorists not only focuse on oil crisis somtime they do terrorists acts for their rights,needs and belief so it's not good to just focus on oil crisis
What you are trying to say is that there is no possible solution to solve the problem because there would always be a new problem when it is solve...I agree somehow but as long as we strive to solve the problem we can do something..
we can not completely eliminate it but at least we control it...
You related the terrorism to the problems on increase and shortage of products too much. In fact, the post can be shortened since the other facts were not really needed. Include more solutions, opinions and examples like our country's state in terms of being terrorized. But the post was good. The outline, structure and the organization were very well.
good jiaaa!!
short but it was very well done.,
comments:
~ your text is only focusing in one problem, oil control..
~ you don't have any solutions to your problem..
~ how about your own solution..
~ there are some grammatical errors..
~ your text is limited..
---that's all..
thank you!!
*bow*
Well, your post lacks your 'proposed' solutions. Also, just like what Miguel said, you focused more on the oil crisis. There are more things that the terrorists do other than threatening oil companies.
Besides my aforementioned comments on your post, and a few grammatical errors, your post is quite good.
You lack some information about terrorism. You concentrated to much about the oil porblems and left terrorism behind.
You didn't wirte a lot about your proposed solution.
But I would say that the content was good. The oil effects in terrorism is really informative.
good luck.
And? So? The last paragraph, or that the last, is hanging. Where is the middle ground? Your final paragraph? A solution you wish to propose? Discuss this and describe its merits.
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